cleaning out my phone part 4

My friend Madeline is always hilarious. I get things like this from her all the time: 

You will love this - the Hales in my ward call their children "hale-ions"

Madeline often admits to a lack of drawing skills:

So I got invited to a Halloween party while Joe is out of town so my friend invited me to go with her and her husband. Here is our conversation:
Me: So I'm gonna go as a third wheel

Annie: no you're gonna be a sexy witch.

Me: no I want a wheel with 3rd written in the middle and I will wear that.

Annie: haha no you're gonna be a witch

Me: I'm serious!

Annie: me too - you can't draw and I won't do it for you so your gonna be a sexy witch.

Me: fine

Madeline works all over the country. She is in sales and works with the general population.  Often the population is specific to the type of event she is working with.  Occasionally she works as fairs, as in State Fairs.  I think we all have noticed the type of people that show up at a state fair.  Well, actually there is quite a range of people who attend fairs - we all attend at some time or another, right?  But the spectrum of the population at the fair reaches far and wide into the population.  There are people at the fair that you just don't run into at church, or at your neighborhood grocery store or in line at the post office.  I don't know where they live or whey they do their grocery shopping, but they all come out to the fair. For two weeks, Madeline sent her hilarious observations like these:

Just saw a lady with a tattooed arm that had Frankenstein, Dracula and the Wolfman on them - WHYYYYYY??? 

Dressing for the Fair tips:  If your tank not only doesn't cover your bra straps but is also not covering a significant amount of the bra cups, then you perhaps you might consider a larger shirt or ditching it completely.

Choices Choices - and she chose a Tiffany bracelet over (wait for it ) . . . . . teeth!

Just had a lady floss all her teeth - top, bottom, and back - while I was cleaning her ring. She did not buy any product.

A dress with an open cut back is NOT sexy when it's just a window to your fat rolls.

Also just saw a grown man in Green Lantern underwear.  Don't ask how I know.