Saturday, January 16, 2016

Overheard on Christmas -- 2015

At the dinner table, Christmas eve, Jonny interrupts the conversation and says: "Can I talk about an important family matter?" Roxanne looks at him, worried for what he might be bringing up as serious family business during our Christmas Eve celebration. Jonny "What time are we all getting up tomorrow morning?  The last time I spent Christmas here, I was too new to the family to have a say in this matter, but I was sorely disappointed at how late this family sleeps on Christmas morning!"  (note: we have no children in the family at this particular juncture in time. The youngest person at the table is 23).  After a long and heated (and hilarious) debate, with an earlier hour almost decided, Brady says "Wait, why are the early birds calling the shots here?"
(in the end, 7:00 a.m. was agreed on, but 8:15 was the actuality)

I made the kids practice and sing a new song all together for Christmas Eve. It had a little harmony.
Roxanne: "Were you singing the main melody?"
Kyle: "I have NO idea."

Kyle (opening gifts of art supplies).
Jonny: "Are you taking up art for real?"
Kyle: "Yes, You should see our kitchen table"
Jonny:  "You painted your kitchen table??"

Referring to one of Brady's gifts, a Mechanical Engineering reference book:  "I'll bet it took a Mechanical Engineer to figure out how to bind that thing."

Still discussing Brady's very large reference book: "What's in it? We could open it to any page and we could discuss. I'll bet we could look up flux capacitors!"

Numerous uses for napkin rings.

Handing someone a present: "Hold this upright."
"Why? Is it a lizard or something?"

Trying to guess what is in a package.
"You know what it is, right? Think hard."
"You don't need to think hard, You can just open it, you know."

Taking too long to open a package. "Hurry up! Can you just bite through that cellophane, please?"

Guessing presents:
"I knew it was candy! I squeezed one until it broke."

To Brady and Stephanie:
"You got a lot of textbooks!"
Brady: "We're kind of lame."

Dave found a roll of excessively glittered wrapping paper that he used excessively in his wrapping.
"Aaaaahh! There's glitter all over me!"
"Pass this package over to Rachel"
"YOU pass it to Rachel, I don't want that glitter on me!"
"We need Hazmat suits!"

Gift opened - Viva la Juicy perfume.
"I need some Viva la Manly!"

Hollering: "Thank You Santa!!!"
"Santa's already in bed. He can't hear you"

Frustration, having a hard time opening a box.
"There's a mechanical engineer here that can help you out with that."
"There's a garbage can that is about to help me out with this!"

"I just got a text from your Dad" (Dave is across the room)

 Jonny never writes actual names on the gifts that he gives, this one is from himself to Roxanne:
"To: the new homeowner, From: the guy who inherits the whole house if you die"

A present to keep someone in? or keep someone out . . . we don't know. 

We had tamales, handmade by Jonny, for breakfast.
"Mexican Tamales!"
"He's only half Mexican you know, he grew up on the beach in southern California, so take that into consideration."

"I've always had a fear of a break-in on Christmas Eve"
"As long as they don't take the tamales. I'd rather the presents be gone than the tamales!"


Looking in stocking: "There's a LOT of candy in here -- Thanks!"
"Honey, it's Christmas morning. SANTA brought that."
"Santa LOVE me!"

"Model your new coat for us Dave!"
"Heel . . . and toe . . . and turn . . . and pose!"
"It's got glitter all over it!"

Talking to Melanie (on her mission) on a Skype video call.
Melanie: "There are some things, worldly things, that I need to know. I don't have access to the internet."
"We'll give you any world news you need, Ready - go"
Melanie: "Ok, In the Tarzan movie, what is the name of Tarzan's little friend?"
"What??   . . . Terk?"
Melanie: "Yes! Thank you! Things get into my brain, and I have no way to research!"

Melanie: "Czechs are hard, until you crack them. When you get past their hard exterior, then they kiss your cheeks and rub your arms."


We had a scheduled 45 minute visit with Melanie in the Czech Republic. We had our computer hooked up to the TV so we all could chat with her on Skype. This is what she opened with. (btw - it's hard to have Christmas with 'almost' everyone home. It was good to see she was happy and healthy. This visit warmed my heart.)

Monday, November 23, 2015

Conversation with my European daughter in the middle of the night.

Funny conversation with Melanie today - it went in so many directions, I could hardly keep up. She usually gets to a computer to e-mail mid afternoon on Mondays (7a.m. our time) and she has limited computer time each week, but today she was on earlier in the day and my phone started beeping with her e-mails coming in at 1 a.m. our time. I was in bed, but I picked up my phone to watch her messages and pictures come in. I usually don't chat with her, but I read this:

1:03 a.m. Melanie: "MOM! I need you ...
I need recipes Can you help?"

1:05 a.m. Me: "Good Morning! What recipes? I'll get them right now before I go back to sleep."

1:07 a.m. Melanie: "Here are the pictures you asked for, will any of these work?" (sending picture attachments to me as we chat, I asked for a good picture for our family Christmas card this year)

1:09 a.m. Me: "Roxanne and I were just talking about using green for our photos. How did you know? Perfect selection. Thank you! You are beautiful in every one of them!  So. . . what recipes?"

1:11 a.m. Melanie: "You're so great. We are doing a huge Thanksgiving with our little branch. It is the second time ever doing it and sorry this is last second but the Czechs are sort of last second people .... so......that's fine. 
We will need:
Dad's cinnamon rolls
How to make Gravy
Peanut butter
And tips for baking a turkey. In an oven. (I don't know why I signed us up for this. once again we are being prepared for the future here out on the mission!)"

(Note - Melanie is competent in the kitchen, but doesn't have a large skill set with proteins and for sure has never roasted a turkey! As a missionary, she has limited time to shop, research, gather supplies, and cook.)

1:12 a.m. Me: "Are you getting back on line later today? Dad is sound asleep but he will be getting up in about 5 hours. I don't know what cinnamon roll recipe he uses but he can get it to you when he wakes up. 
And. . . Making peanut butter? What? Can't you buy that?"

1:15 a.m. Melanie: "oh! sorry. I meant PB cookies. 
And yes, we will be back on briefly at 4 or 4:30 today so that is fine."

So I get up and start searching recipes from the internet for her. The only way I have cooked a turkey is in a Turkey Oven Bag, Since she will not have access to what I use, I start googling, copying, pasting, and sending: "Baking a Turkey, easy method"  and  "How to make gravy, easy method"  and "Basic Peanut butter cookies".  

1:19 a.m. send recipe for cookies

1.20 a.m. Melanie: "Here are some more pictures, do you like the ones with or without the hat?"

1:22 a.m. send instructions for baking a turkey
1:24 a.m. send instructions for making gravy

1:24 a.m. Me: I'll have to wait til we take our family picture and see which one looks best with one of yours so they match on our card.

1:25 a.m. Me: For the gravy, make this Giblet stock if you have time, otherwise buy chicken stock or chicken broth or bouillon.
You'll need to pull out the neck and giblets from the turkey (usually packed inside in wax paper)
1 turkey neck
Turkey giblets
5 cups water
INSTRUCTIONS . .  .(etc)

1:28 a.m. Melanie: "please define giblets. Thank you !!"

1:29 a.m. Melanie: "Mom, I can't remember the dropbox password"

1:33 a.m. Me: (internet definition search) "Giblets refers to the little bundle of parts sometimes found inside the cavity of a bird, such as chicken or turkey. Usually the giblets includes the neck the gizzard (a muscle that grinds up food before it enters the digestive system - think of it as a second stomach), the heart, and the liver."

1:34 a.m. Send password

1:35 a.m. Melanie: "good glory mother! Thank you for that definition!"

1:35 a.m. Me: "You boil them, it gets all the flavor into the water, then discard the solids and you have a wonderful liquid to make gravy with. 
If you are buying a turkey, find out how they are sold. If you buy a frozen turkey (that's about the only way to buy them here) it takes DAYS to thaw out in a fridge. Buy it TODAY!. "

1:36 a.m. Melanie: "Here's one more picture of me - but I don't like this one. It makes me look funny."

1:36 a.m. Melanie: I'm afraid dropbox hates me. Its not working at all. Does it work for you? sorry you're doing this in the middle of the night. I love you! (All during this conversation, she was also trying to download her camera memory card onto my dropbox account) 

1:41 a.m. Melanie: "as far as we know, we will get the turkey (assuming it is thawed) on Thursday afternoon and we are to cook it all Thursday night for the party on Friday evening. Pray for us !!"

1:45 a.m. Melanie: "Mom, I had to reset the password, can you confirm it on your end?"

1:46 a.m. Melanie: "Mom, WHY DOES DROPBOX HATE ME ?"

1:48 a.m. Me: (another quick internet search) How to Safely Thaw the Turkey: be sure to let your turkey completely thaw before cooking. If it was frozen through when you bought it, the turkey will thaw within a few days in the fridge, approximately 24 hours for every five pounds of turkey. For quicker thawing, place the turkey in a cold water bath and change the water every 30 minutes until it's thawed.

1:50 a.m. Me:  "Ahh, maybe because I am signed in? my computer stays signed in. I just logged off, try it now."

1:52 a.m.  Melanie:  "Dropbox works now. Enjoy the pictures I'm sending you."

1:56 Melanie: "YOU ARE A MIRACLE WOMAN!!!
Thank you mother dearest. We have all instructions needed to successfully celebrate Thanksgiving. 
You are the best, now go to bed :) I love you dearly. Sweet dreams."

1:59 a.m. Melanie: "P.S.  I will be using personal funds for the thanksgiving recipes but the branch will reimburse me meaning the reimbursement will go in my pocket since I have no way to transfer funds back to you. It shouldn't be a lot. just expect that on the credit card. You will be blessed for your sponsorship."

2:02 a.m. Me:   "Good night Mel. I'm turning off my phone so I don't hear the 'ding' every time a picture downloads, so I hope you don't have any more questions. I love you and we WILL pray for your Thanksgiving feast to be a success." 

I was not quite expecting to be sitting at my computer in the middle of the night frantically searching for written instructions on "baking a turkey" , but now I'm very anxious for next Monday's e-mail letter for the results of "The Great Czech Republic  American Thanksgiving Feast of 2015" 

Saturday, February 28, 2015

yuki matsuri

We came to Japan for many reasons, but the reason we came in bitter cold February is for the "Yuki Matsuri" Snow Festival. The festival started in the 1950's when some high school students built some over the top snow statues, then later the local military groups joined forces and started building massive snow sculptures. It has become a yearly event with up to 400 snow and ice sculptures and brings in well over a million visitors each year. Even years when accumulated snowfall is low, snow is brought in from outside Sapporo and the festival goes on.
There is a live snow statue competition built by teams from other countries. There is a design or drawing in front of the workspace so you can see what the eventual sculpture will be and it is fun to see the ongoing carving. Sapporo's sister cities are often involved including Munich Germany and Portland Oregon. There were 10 countries competing this year. Apparently Hawaii isn't considered part of the US because there was a Hawaii team and a US team.
The festival is held in Odori Park - a big park one block wide by maybe 10 or 12 blocks long right in the middle of the enormous city of Sapporo. There were sculptures, stages, performances, ski and snow board demonstrations, kiosks for souvenirs and trinkets, food vendors, commercial booths etc etc. Another part of town hosted the ice sculptures and carvings. They are much like you would see at a fancy wedding or bar mitzvah, or on a cruise ship buffet, but larger than life. Many were commercially sponsored and had a product themed design. The third area of the festival was a playground for families and kids. Slides built of snow, mazes for the kids to go through, zip lines, games and again food, food, food. 

These are built larger than life out of compressed snow. Amazing to see during the day, then light shows transform them at night.

Here's what's weird. The population of this entire country wears dark and conservative colors and clothing styles. Everywhere we went, every single day. Then we came to this park geared for families and all their toddlers wore adorable prints and fantastic colors!  At what age do they put these away and vow to wear only black and tan for the rest of their lives?


oh . . . the toilets!

This very ultra modern country of Japan had some surprises in store. It is a country of opposites. It is extremely clean - no litter to be seen anywhere. Yet, there are no trash cans anywhere. You would see people picking up litter - other people's litter - and putting it in their pocket. I suppose everyone took home their garbage to dispose of at the end of the day. Also on the spectrum of opposites, many many people wore face masks. White surgical face masks. Germaphobes? maybe, but do you know what is missing in their whole entire country? soap at the sinks in their public bathrooms! Like 1 out of 10 bathrooms have soap dispensers. Weird. I ended up carrying my own. 
Also another extreme. Most bathrooms had all kinds of electronics and gadgets on the toilets - heated seats, bidets with several water and pressure settings, a button to turn on water sounds to mask out any human sounds I suppose. Then you'd go into another bathroom and be met with this! 

What??? The first one I encountered was in the Tokyo International Airport and I had a sudden worry that I wouldn't be able to use the bathroom for the next 2 1/2 weeks. I backed out of the bathroom and looked at Dave with a panic   "I . don't. even. know . . . . . ". Luckily, it was in an older section of the airport and we looked for another bathroom and then I discovered that some stalls have these (again, don't even know what they are called - squatters?) and some stalls have modern western style toilets.
Almost all the bathrooms come with instruction manuals posted on the walls. There are so many options, bells and whistles. And although there is most often no soap offered at the sinks, there is quite often a soap and towel systems that you can use for wiping the toilet seat before you use it. So the toilets you can clean, your hands you can't.   

 And of course it's always good to get a tutorial for basic toilet usage in general.

This one cracked me up. My take away from these signs are: If you have wide shoulders, use the blue bathroom. If you are fat or pregnant, use the red bathroom.

This one had no other instructions except "Push this Button".  And there were TWO choices! I was worried it was a panic button "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up"

And this little gem was in the ELEVATOR! It was a sign over a box installed in the corner of the elevator. Apparently you can sit and "have a little break" while you ride the elevator OR in the event of an emergency you can use the box for a toilet! And inside this little toilet you can also find drinking water, emergency light, toilet paper and deodorant!
 How many times have women gone into a bathroom and there is nowhere for baby while you do you business? All the stalls have baby seats. Dave was just disturbed that it faced the toilet. Who needs someone watching you?

I think this was one of my favorites though. Actually I'm not sure what this did, but I liked the illustration.  I think this one just had music in case you wanted to sit on the toilet fully clothed and read a book.

trains planes and automobiles (and subways)

Suzanne said she heard from a friend that had visited Japan that the public transportation was one of the trickier aspects of the country so she suggested watching youtube videos and tutorials. That was an excellent idea. We also purchased an all-access train pass. The trains covered all our travel between cities and a lot of our travel within the major cities. But we also had to learn the subway systems and the city bus systems. We found that we had about a 24 hours learning curve and we were in each city for about 48 hours so we'd learn the system, enjoy our vast knowledge for a day, then move on to the next city and repeat.
Before we even got to try out the subways and trains, we flew into Tokyo late in the evening and had an early flight out the next morning to fly to the northern island of Hokkaido. We booked a hotel room near the airport and got in a cab. We asked him to take us to the Royal Inn Hotel Haneda (Haneda is the name of the Airport too).  He took a minute to figure out where this hotel was. We figured if he was driving at the airport, he would know the hotels in the neighborhood, right? Surely this wasn't more than 5 minutes away. He asked if it was a new hotel? Then he laughed and said "this is IN the airport!" Then he started driving while laughing. Then we thought, wait, if this is IN the airport, where is he driving us? He is just going to drive us to the other end of the terminal, to the door of the hotel. He wasn't really familiar with it, but knew it was at the end of the terminal. He drove us down to the end, no entrance. He drove us the other side, no entrance to the hotel. He drove us around the airport terminal for 5 minutes or so then drove us back to the EXACT SAME CURB where we got in and finally figured out that if we walk back into the terminal, go up the escalator, turn left and walk 100 yards or so we would be there. Then he charged us $13 for our ride. Yes, a ride to the exact same pickup location. I asked Dave later why didn't he argue the fare. He was literally so exhausted and didn't even have the words in Japanese to argue - easier to just pay and get to the hotel on foot!
Transportation on the first day in Hokkaido was a bit traumatic. The first resort we stayed in the first day in Sapporo assured us they had a shuttle - which somehow did not pan out for us so we took a city bus way out of town. The trains and subways had a lot of instructions and helps, but the city buses did not. We hopped on the bus hoping it was the correct one, could not understand the announcements, weren't sure what time we would expect to arrive at our stop, weren't sure we could hear the announcement for our stop, the bus was SUPER crowded, and we had a little bit of a panic attack and we realized if we missed our stop (which was supposedly a 2 minute walk from our hotel) and the sun was going down, and it was getting colder and colder and we were farther and farther from the city center (access to taxis) and we were hauling our luggage, we weren't sure what our Plan B was, and if we went past our stop we weren't sure how to get back. As it ended up, (all while we were in a panic) more and more people were getting off the bus, it was getting emptier and emptier (thus enforcing the idea that we probably missed our stop) then the bus came to a stop right in the parking lot of our resort, the end of the line for the bus driver for the day! Yay. It also made it easier to get back on the next morning knowing we'd be the first ones on and were assured an actual seat.
The other crazy  transportation situation was a day we tried to do maybe too much. We were staying in Kyoto and decided to do two out of town things in the same day. We left our hotel at 6 am and took the "Shinkansen" bullet train to Hiroshima. We spent about a half day there and then wanted to also visit an island called Naoshima. To get to Naoshima from the bullet train required us to transfer to a local train, hop on a ferry, then take a local city bus across 20 minutes or so across the island to where we wanted to go.  In order to do this all in one day, we had to make sure we were on the last ferry off the island so we could be on all the connections to get back to the last bullet train of the day. If we missed the bullet train, we would be on a local train and would turn a 90 minute trip into a 3 1/2 hour trip back to our hotel.  We were also expecting a call from Melanie as she was leaving the MTC that morning (our night, her morning) and needed to be back at our hotel to get her call. Naoshima was one of our favorite places so we were glad we made the effort to go, but we were worried about making all the right connections to get back to Kyoto by the end of the day. We were on the far side of the island with quite a walk to the bus station.  At one of the museums, there was a chartered shuttle bus for the local resort peoples. It was heading the in the direction we needed to go so Dave and I jumped on and we just sat down and took a ride back to the resort, hoping no one would ask for a ticket or verification that we were staying at the resort. We made it to the bus stop, made it on the ferry, ate dinner at the 7-11 as we were walking to the train station (they sell egg salad sandwiches everywhere), made it to the local train connection, then when we were running for the connection to the bullet train, Dave heard it coming in (and they only stop and open the doors for exactly 60 seconds - I timed it - and close the doors and take off). We were running for it and rounded the last corner and looked up at THREE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS! Oh my heck we did a lot of stairs in and out of the subways this week! We made it to the top as the buzzers were going off for the doors to close. We dived in the closest door and they shut. I was asking Dave if we were actually on the right train. "I think so". But since we jumped in the closest door, we had to hike through 12 cars on the train to get to our assigned seats. Then we anxiously waited for the digital board to show the next stop to verify that we were actually on the correct train barreling down the tracks at 150 miles an hour.
I don't think it felt any different to ride the bullet train than it felt to ride the other trains, but another day, we watched a couple of the fast trains go by before we boarded our. The speed was impressive! Or maybe I'm just easily amused.
All in all we utilized - planes, trains, automobiles, monorails, taxis, trams, buses, subways, cable cars, escalators, elevators, and our poor tired feet. I think we used everything but bicycles and a rickshaw.

lost in translation

I loved our experience in Japan. I went knowing that Dave was going to be our translator and I would have nothing to worry about whatsoever. Although he says he is rusty, when I hear him  speak Japanese he sounds very fluid and very fluent,  As the days went by, Dave found himself quickly remembering and re-learning the language and becoming more and more comfortable with what he used to know so well. He was even complimented on his Japanese. However, even as fluent as a missionary is, there are certain topics and certain words they never used. Their days were filled with talking about gospel topics. Fortunately for us on this trip, missionaries also become very good at finding addresses and navigating around public transportation. However, Dave's Japanese skills were all verbal. Missionaries, of course, never learned to read kanji. We ran into problem when we were asking direction to a place we wanted to visit. We were doing pretty well navigating our traveling, but this particular museum seemed to be on the outskirts of town so we wanted to verify because we had limited time that day. So we asked the hotel clerk for some directions. She jotted down some directions and this is what we got.

"Ok, thanks, We will spend the rest of the day at the train station looking for a sign that 
matches this one."

There was a vending machine in the hallway of the hotel. It looked like soap for the laundry, but it wasn't near the washer/dryers. It was closer to the snack vending machines. I put in money and wasn't sure if I was buying soap or cigarettes. And if I was getting soap, I was hoping it was packaged and not just a spout that we had to catch the detergent in a cup, or in our case we were ready with the palm of our hands. I have definitely taken reading English for granted.

 We also wanted to drop a letter in the post office. We searched for somewhere to buy some postage stamps for quite a while. People kept telling us the post office was right around the corner or right down the walkway. We couldn't find it so we'd try again the next afternoon, carrying this letter around with us for 3 days. If you are not familiar with the logo of the post office (an orange T) it is hard to find. I was subconsciously looking for a red white and blue eagle logo. When we finally found some postage stamps, the clerk sent Dave outside to the sidewalk to drop it in the mailbox. He walked down the sidewalk several minutes before coming back. The clerk walked out with him and pointed out the very obvious "snowman?" postal drop box.

 There was quite a few businesses that were familiar, of course - McDonalds, Gap etc, and many billboards. Johnny Depps movie posters were everywhere.

 I absolutely loved the English translations on many signs. It was clear they used Google translate and trusted it to be accurate. "Please stop the act to feed a fish and a bird"

and "It is off-limits of the graveyard this ahead excluding parties concerned"

There were many signs that had helpful English translations thankfully, but still had to be interpreted to an extent. "Please go backward"

And then surprisingly, after being frustrated all day trying to figure out products and packaging, there are the products in full English labels. How are their Japanese customers at the hotel going to figure out which one is shampoo?

We were stumped at the laundry mat. It was a little neighborhood laundry mat with lots of washers and dryers, but there were 4 styles of machines so we weren't sure which were washers and which were dryers, but by the process of elimination we decided on a machine we would try. It clearly had a water sealed door and a locking latch, but the sign taped on the front for an English translation said: "Instructions for using a Dryer" and in other labels at the bottom it said "Please don't put detergent absolutely". So we were questioning if it was just a dryer. But the cost was about $9 so it didn't seem like it would be the right price for just drying. Actually there were several cost options, $9, $7, $6 or $1 Very confusing. (Read the photo below "How to use a Dryer" . See of you can figure it out!) And no one else was there doing laundry so we were on our own. 

Finally, someone else came in and Dave asked for some instruction and help. The machine will wash AND dry in the same machine, and you don't put detergent in because the detergent is automatically added. The choices were heavy wash, light wash, dry only, or a quick dry. Simple!

I have to say though, the funniest conversation I heard him work through was a situation regarding the jacuzzi at our resort.  We were staying in a Japanese style Onsen. I thought this word meant village or resort, but I later learned it means hot springs, and sometimes used to describe the bathing facilities and inns around the hot springs. This would have been important information to know because Dave and I brought our swimming suits because the Japanese website (translated into English) said the resort had an outdoor heated pool and jacuzzi. How awesome would it be to sit under the snowy trees in a hot jacuzzi? I was picturing something like this:

When we arrived and realized how Japanese traditional styled it was, Dave decided he'd better verbally investigate the "pool" because there were also signs for the bath house - a very different concept than what we were going for. He asked a someone at dinner and the conversation went something like this (to the waiter who spoke broken/limited English):
Dave: Is there a pool here in this hotel?
Waiter:  . . . ? . . .
Dave: A pool, for swimming?
Waiter:   . . . ? . . .
Dave: Is there a bath house in the hotel?
Waiter: there is a bath in your room and there is a bath on the second floor.
Dave: The bath house on the 2nd floor, is it a swimming pool where you can wear a swim suit in the water?
Waiter: A suit? in water?
Dave: No, In the public bath rooms, downstairs, do people wear swim trunks?
Waiter: . . . trunks? . . . ? . . .
It went on and on like this, as Dave realized there are no translations in his vocabulary for swim trunks, co-ed, segregated, family friendly, jacuzzi, nude, swimming pool etc etc. Hilarious.
Sadly, there was no jacuzzi under the stars for Dave and I to enjoy. There was a beautiful sauna and hot tub and steam room - segregated for men and women -  but if you are an American and planned to wear a swimsuit, you would not be welcome there.

Then one last thing -- this little boy was sitting next to us eating lunch at the festival. Dave and I were just talking and this little boy kept staring. Finally Dave turned to him and said something friendly to him in Japanese. I don't know what he said, but we clearly look American. The little boy's eyes got real big and he turned to his mom and said (in Japanese)  "I CAN UNDERSTAND ENGLISH!!"