16 years ago . . .

Things I remember about Tom:He fit right in to our family. Anything we were doing, he was willing to do too.

We visited Rawhide and he could have passed for a real live Cowboy.

He was very easy to have around, and very respectful in our home.

When I hear songs by Prince , I still think of him.

Tom's language skills were really pretty good as a teenager, but the first week he was here, we ordered pizza and he asked for marshmallows on it (you know . . . they grow in the forest? Oh -- mushrooms!)

I have been impressed with all his world travels over the years.

Tom's mother and brother visited us and we traveled together for a few days. As we left our home on the 3rd day of their visit, Tom's mom bolted for a coffee shop. We have no coffee in our house, nor did I even think about offering any. I think she was in caffeine withdrawal by day three.

We went to the Grand Canyon in February. It was bitter cold and the entire canyon was filled with fog. Tom kept his video camera rolling all day anyway.

In a grand gesture, the sun came out and the fog cleared in a very dramatic fashion for a short time. It made it almost more impressive to see the canyon like that.

Tom made friends very easily.

Yes, Tom, I remember the 'sick stomach in the middle of the night' stain on our hallway carpet. And no, it is no longer there.

We were pretty poor in those years. Tom always had more spending money than we did and he shopped in higher class stores than we ever could.

When we were driving through the desert, we stopped to look at some local flora and fauna. Mirjam reached out to get a gentle feel of the cactus. Unfortunately, she reached out to a jumping cactus and an entire ball came off into her hand. It was a very tricky situation, very painful, and we were not prepared for it with our little first aid kit. But the thing I remember is her two sons laughing hysterically at her.

When Brady was in sixth grade, he had to do a big report on a country of his choice. Holland was an obvious choice -- we still had some wooden shoes and some cool gifts from Tom and his family around the house so Brady was set for visual aids. About 2 weeks before Brady's presentation, Tom called us and said he was going to be in the states that very week. It was a great visit, and he went to the school to help Brady give his report.

It was a fun year. Having Tom here gave us some opportunities to do some things we may not have normally done. Suzanne and another family nearby were also hosting exchange students so there was an opportunity to get together for socials with other families too. The program hosts asked us multiple times if we would take another student the next year, but we were planning on another baby and all our bedrooms would then be full.

It ended up being a good year for us to participate in the program.

Here is our goal, Tom: We want to visit Holland within the next 5 years. (well, I want to. I haven't actually mentioned that goal to Dave yet. But I know he would get on a plane tomorrow if he could.)

tom's a dad!

Recent e-mail exchange:

Hey Tom,
I just watched men's beach volleyball. USA and Holland.
Sorry we just kicked your butt. --David

Hi Hale's,
How are you all? Yeah, I also saw it but then again we beat you in women's waterpolo. Anyways congrats on the many medals you got and of course Michael Phelps. Hey, I got some great news, just last month I became a father of a beautiful baby girl. She is really great. Everything went really well and Karen and I are sooo happy. Enclosed you can find some pictures of her. The most beautiful daughter. --Tom

We have heard from Tom off and on through the years. I certainly could do better to keep in touch. Years ago Tom was here as a foreign exchange student and spent a whole school year in our home. I still can't get over how daring that is. A sixteen year old going to the other side of the world to live for a year with people he has never met. I couldn't have done it. This was so fun to hear from him this week. His last note was fantastic - a baby girl. I still think of him as a 17 year old boy, and he is in his 30's now!

We wrote back and forth a couple of times this week and here is what he sent. It is a fun read: (and Tom, I added a few pictures that we had also):

Ohh MY Gosh, that was so great. I checked your guys blogspots, that was so much fun. It really was great to see how you all have grown and how funny you are. I figured to also write you something so that everybody can get to know me a little bit more. I thought of doing that Melanie and Roxanne's styles by summing up all kind of facts about me, the period I lived with you guys, what Roxanne, Brady and Rachel were like back then and so on. It will be fun to post it on your website. I really felt and still feel part of the family when I was reading all of it on the site. I will also add some pictures of me and family.

Here goes; my 50 Random Facts

1 Exactly 16 years ago I arrived at Phoenix airport as a 16 year old teenager.
2 I was excited to meet you all, and on the way home from the airport we had a flat tire.

3 I also joined every sunday to church. I loved the people there everybody was really nice.

4 I went with the brother of Marcy Hatch to LA. His girlfriend was named apple, that was such a funny name to me...
5 I was impressed by LA beach (that was the time Baywatch started so imagine my excitement)
6 I went to North High School and I was in student government. That's where I got to know most of my friends.
7 Coincidentally two of my friends lived just 4 houses from us.
8 Rachel and Brady were sooo shy in the beginning. Zannie was just 1 year old. (we called her Zannie)
9 Did your mom ever tell you the "elephants in Denmark" trick? That blew me away.
10 Christmas I met your granddad and grandma, that was great they came all the way from the potato state.
11 That was funny that every state had a nickname. Who decides on the name?
12 In '93 there was no internet, so I had to hand type all the letters I wrote back home.
13 Then I was able to use the computer we had, but zannie kept plugging the plug out so I had to do tons of rewriting.
14 I covered my room with all the letters I received and made it into wallpaper.
15 I was a huge fan of Prince and I even wore a t-shirt to school once of him. I know I am soo embarrassed.
16 Rachel had a huge talent in drawing and piano playing.
17 I was in the same room as the piano for a year and I never touched it.
18 Brady liked to ride around on his bike a lot.
19 Me and Dave always used to play basketball a lot. Honestly, Dave was slightly better, (takes a man to admit his weaknesses) We even built the court together.

20 I never forget the family dinners we had at Ed Debevics. That was sooo much fun.
21 Although you guys did not drink caffeine, still Cindy would get me a six pack of coke, especially for me. (I'll never forget that)
22 Once I had a cold and someone advised me to put a cut onion in the room at night. I became so sick that I ran to the bathroom but did not make it. The stain never went out. (I hope it is now by the way)
23 I always wanted to be soo american that I tried to get rid of the Dutch accent. Finally a miracle happened; Some years ago I was asked by an american what state I was from; I answered! ARIZONA! At last: No more accent!
24 I live in Someren in Holland or The Netherlands. Now some random facts about that.
25 I am married with Karen Leenen, we met 4,5 years ago on a ski trip.
26 We hit it off from the start because we had the same humor... example: we arm wrestled right before our first kiss, who ever would win would get to kiss the other one. Needless to say I won!
27 We married on April the 18th of this year and our baby girl was born on the 28th of July. (yeah I know, not quite the mormon way, hope you guys can forgive me ;))
28 Our daughter is called Fay, she is wonderful. Actually an american name. (example Faye Dunaway)
29 My parents are divorced and I have one brother.
30 I work at welten, which rents out people to banks. My job is to get everybody to work and talk to them what their ambitions are.
31 I drive a french car named Peugeot.
32 I traveled a lot the last 16 years. The farthest I went is New Zealand. I was in every country of Europe.
33 I quite often meet people on their mission here in Holland. I always chat with them, telling them I lived with you guys.
34 Dave bought me a Mormon book in Dutch, so I can better understand the scriptures. (sweet huh)
35 I actually dated a girl like in 2000 , who I met those days in Phoenix. We went to homecoming together in 93. Sara Doerschlag.
36 We did not have mobile phones in 93 so I always used to call in your mom and dad's bedroom (mostly to Sara)
37 My favorite fast food restaurant was Arby's. They don't have it in Holland though so I haven't had Arby's in more then 10 years. When you have a roast beef with Arby sauce think of me!
38 I used to throw Zannie and Brady on the bed and they loved it.
39 I still have some 12 hours of videotape of my stay with you guys. When I have the chance I will sent the dvd to you or upload them on a site so you can check them.
40 I was in a band the last 4 years. I quit now, because it was too much to combine it all.
41 My hobby's now are playing golf and tennis, watching movies and organizing stuff.
42 If any of you are ever in Europe or close by in Holland, just let me know. I will take a few days off and show you all the highlights of Holland.
43 In Holland everyone has 25 days a year off. Also don't think Holland is all about prostitution and drugs, cause it's not. It's about cheese and Art.
44 Holland has only 14 million habitants, still we have more medals than: Argentina, Brazil, Portugal and Italy.
45 We beat the US in women's waterpolo.
46 The last days I was there, finally Rachel opened up. She got talkative, I never forget it, because we were sitting in the backyard on the swing.
47 Soon I hope to be over there some day soon. That would be great. I will take my family with me and we will all go out.
48 My name is Tom, but my real name is: Antonius Johannes Catherina. (it's a Catholic thing)
49 I am almost out of facts, last ones are: Favorite music, Dave Mathews Band, Damien Rice, Garth Brooks (when he was big) and rock bands like pearl jam.
50 Favorite movies: Ferris Buelers' days off, ( I am not just saying that cause you also like it, I grew up on that movie) Any movie with Marlon Brando.

Tom's family:

Dad

Mom - Mirjam

Brother - Hans

Wife - Karen

and brand new baby Fay!

it's a small world

My brother called Sunday afternoon and invited us to come over for some treats and games. It was a good night for us to get away, so we headed out to Mesa. They've got a lovely house, decorated beautifully, it's warm and inviting. Anyway, after chatting for a few minutes, the doorbell rang and a couple of their good friends stepped in who had also been invited over. This woman walked in and looked at me and said "you look familiar" then turned and said "OH MY GOSH -- DAVE!!!" It was Dave's cousin. We hadn't seen her in years. It was fun to catch up and spend an evening with my family and Dave's family both.

We played a round of "Apples to Apples". The cards in your hand have random words on them and you have to most closely match the concept of one of them to the word being played. We had second grader Shaw playing with us. The word was "shallow" and Shaw plays a card from his hand - "dating". Cracked me up. I thought it was a random match on his part, but he played every hand brilliantly. Smart kid, that nephew of mine.

Thanks for the invite Curtis and Lesa. It was a fun evening.

By the way, Curtis is an incredible DJ. Check out his website .

olympics

We're not big sports fans at our house. I think Dave would watch sports a little more if he had some free time, but still, it's not the first thing he turns to. I don't follow sports at all. I'm often surprised to hear someone talking about the final game of the world series and embarrassed that I didn't even realize it was going on.

However, we have been glued to the TV this past two weeks watching the Olympics. We have loved every minute of it.

There are a few things that I am curious about. I hear that women's softball is being removed as a competing olympic sport. But these sports continue: rhythmic gymnastics (hoola hoops, ribbons and batons), 10 meter air rifle shooting, table tennis, the steeple chase and the hammer throw. I noticed there wasn't much prime time television coverage on many of these events. Men's speed walking was on at 1:30 am.

I loved watching all the Michael Phelps victories, but I kind of felt bad for the other contenders in the swimming events. The silver medalist who swam next to him? And swam ahead of him the whole entire race? and lost by a fraction of a second? yeah, I already forgot his name.


more graph humor and song chart memes



The opening and closing ceremonies were amazing, weren't they? The buildings and structures were amazing. Do the hosting cities really recoup the costs they pour into their communities after the events are over? just curious.
Anyway, it's all over. And I'm in mourning.

it was a pretty good month after all

Seventeen years ago we had the greatest month. Well, it didn't start out great. During August 1991, we got audited on our federal taxes, we got our house broken into and our TV stolen and Dave got layed off his construction job. Earlier in the year we lost maternity coverage on our health insurance. I was very, very pregnant. I had 2 previous c-sections. We had no job and our health insurance wouldn't cover a c-section. (Except for the being pregnant part, that year was just as much fun as this year has been!)

But at the end of the month, this was our prize:

Then she grew up.

She is #3 of these crazy four.

She is lovely.

And this week it's her birthday.

Love you, Roxanne.

dad

My sister and I were just realizing our dad passed away 10 years ago this month. He was 69, too young in my opinion. He had dealt with cancer for a number of years. It first reared its ugly head way back when I was still in High School. That must have been a scary situation with 5 kids still at home and another 4 in various stages of young adult life. He won the battle that time, but it came back again 20 years later. He fought the disease and managed the symptoms for about 2 years before he passed away. Surprisingly he lead quite an active life during a good portion of those 2 years.

Melanie was only 4 at the time. I forget sometimes that my younger kids don't really remember him. I need to share more stories of their Grandpa with them. (Melanie wanted me to make it crystal clear that she was biting on her fingernails in this photo and not picking her nose!)

We were able to have Melanie's baby blessing at a family reunion, camping in northern Arizona. ( I don't recall her having an issue with male-pattern baldness, but she does look a lot like her grandpa in this picture.) My dad loved to explore the surrounding areas wherever he lived. In Winslow, he would take us to spend a Saturday sand surfing in the Painted Desert, bogging in the Little Colorado River, swimming in Barbershop Canyon, camping at Buck Springs and hiking down Canyon de Chelly. He could even make a Saturday morning trip to the city dump fun for us.

In Heber, he and Mom would take us camping or picnicking in the beautiful mountains nearby when we would come to visit. This is Roxanne hiking around with her Grandpa. Roxanne snapped this photo a few minutes later. Not bad photography for a 3 year old.

Here is Brady reading with his Grandpa. My dad always looked the same. Either he didn't age, or maybe just aged early on then never changed? This is a picture of him on his mission in Mexico in the late 1940's.
People that hadn't seen him in 30 years always recognized him right away.

I pulled out his life story this week and enjoyed reading - he was a very good writer. He not only wrote his own life story, but compiled stories for many other relatives and ancestors. I enjoyed reading about his career:

I could not have chosen a field of work that I would have enjoyed more than retailing. There is a certain romance about retailing as I experienced it. There is an exhilaration that comes when you buy and sell something successfully. And I've had spectacular successes and dismal failures, too.

He goes on to describe some of the crazy sales in the 50's and 60's:

We held Night Sale events, Crazy Day events, Sidewalk Sales, or anything else you could think of and the public came. Washington's Birthday Sale was a one-day sale spectacular where everyone did the craziest things that could be imagined. One year we wore George and Martha Washington costumes with long white wigs. The public loved it. Crowds were so large that sometimes stores were torn up and people were hurt. I remember one time a woman was pushed down the main front stairway and broke her leg. We had to close one time long enough to clean up the broken glass from counters that were turned over. I remember a night sale event that started at 10pm that became so large that the police had to ask people not to drive into certain areas because of the traffic jams. I've known customers to tear up clothing fighting over a size or color because of the low price offered.

I've seen large quantities of merchandise sold in a very short period of time. We think that large stores have a monopoly on big sales today, but stores in the past could move merchandise too. I sold 1300 lbs of fresh fig bars one Saturday. We sold 10,000 boxes of chocolate cherries one season and 10,000 decorated marshmallow Easter eggs another season. I sold 50 power mowers one Friday and Saturday and 200 metal garbage cans. I've sold hundreds of Christmas trees, thousands of pairs of Levis, cherry tarts, Myna birds, cow manure and just about anything else you might think of. One style of peasant blouse, we sold 4500 over a two year period. You would have thought that everyone, everywhere would have been wearing one of them.

There have been times when the public was unbelievably dishonest and unbelievably funny. As an example, I confronted a woman once who had a purse over her arm, and I had the price tag that she had just removed from the purse moments earlier. When confronted with that price tag she became so frightened that she stood there an wet her pants causing a large puddle on the floor even though I hadn't said a word.

We also caught a young girl stealing a prom dress on prom night. I remember her tears.

I remember a young man who ran away with a pair of our nice shoes. I ran outside, saw which way he went, jumped into my little red Volkswagen car and pursued him full speed ahead! I chased him around blocks, up and down alleys, through private yards, service stations, vacant lots, and everywhere else he went. He finally threw the shoes into someones yard and ducked across the train yard and under a train that was stopped there. I couldn't follow him further, but I'll bet he'll never forget about the time he was chased by a little red Volkswagen.

How incredible to have a career that you love and have fun with -- the "game" of retail.

My parents were incredible to put two very different families together and blend them into one cohesive group of people. He writes of stories and adventures that you just simply can't predict or imagine as you start down a road of raising a blended family. And during a good chunk of our growing up years, he was my bishop.

I miss my dad.

idaho

We were in Idaho for a reunion. Dave and I sort of planned the event, but not very well. Our lives here at home the last few months have been hectic and the reunion plans were kind of low on our priority list. Dave's cousin, Karen, called a couple of days before we left to ask how she could help. I had to confess to her that we hadn't even planned menus yet. We were going to do that in the car on the way, and shop when we got there. Which we didn't do. Because I stayed up all night packing. And I slept most of the way up. And when I wasn't asleep, Dave was. We planned the menu when Karen and I got in the car to head to the grocery store when we got to Pocatello at 4pm with all the other family arriving at 6pm. Surprisingly, all the food ended up just right. We had to go through father-in-law's kitchen and pantry thoroughly before we left for the store to see what he did and didn't have. He assured us that he had enough milk because he said there were 2 quarts in the fridge and a whole container of powdered milk that tastes just as good when you mix it up. (Clearly his taste buds have declined in recent years. This is a man that raised his boys milking cows and having fresh whole milk on the table every day of their lives.)Dave's Dad has an amazing property which is just right for kids to run and explore and tire themselves right out. There is a great big lawn, a swing set, a tree house with a rope swing, there is a gigantic garden with fresh raspberries for the picking. There were apples ripening in the trees. Beyond the garden, there is a little patch of pine trees that were planted about 30 years ago that feels like you are in a magical, mystical place when you are in the middle of it. The reunion was very casual. The kids played, the adults visited, the guitars came out, family news was shared, lots of food was consumed. It was lovely. After everyone started leaving, our kids started down memory lane playing in the tree house and the swings. Our kids are aging out of the tree house stage of their lives, but here is what happens when older teenagers start in on activities geared for 9 year olds. The rope swing out of the tree house generally swings in a gentle arching curve. Brady almost cracked a rib as he nearly collided with the eaves of the house. Then they started jumping out of the swings. This little cousin made us all nervous jumping out of the swing at about 12 feet high. The neighbor's dog stopped by and was nicknamed armpit. He wasn't the sweetest smelling dog you ever met. All in all, it was a fun, relaxing event. The weather was perfect, the atmosphere very relaxing. Dave and the kids and grandpa are heading out to camp and fish for a while before they come home. I don't think I'll even hear from them for a couple of days, I'm sure they are out of cell phone range up in the mountians. It's nice to get Grandpa out of the house and back to the hills he loved during his many years as a scoutmaster. Dave definitely deserves the break from his never-ending work schedule.

my feet are killing me

Ever since our fig tree was cut down and chopped up, I have been walking on these little jaggedy pieces of cut up branches all over the back yard. Which is painful because I never wear shoes. There are hundreds of these little tiny sticks deep down in our lawn. The yard was raked. Then our irrigation came and I raked while the water was in so all the wood was floating. I raked before the lawn was mowed, and I raked after the lawn was mowed. Now I am picking up each and every little stick that I step on as I traverse the yard. One by one, picking up each piece by hand.
Except occasionally I am finding that some of them are not actually pieces of wood. Thanks for the lovely surprises, Lexi.

prime time TV

Major rain storm last night. There was more rain pouring down than I have seen in a long, long time. Then the power went out. We got out the generator and plugged in the TV. We watched TV for two hours then turned it off and went to bed. Our entire neighborhood for miles around was pitch black - except for our TV. How pathetic are we?
(But in our defense, it was the finale of "So You Think You Can Dance".)

the long road home

We drove to Idaho for a family reunion, but I had to be back before everyone else so I purchased a plane ticket to fly home. It was Sunday afternoon. My plane flies out of Pocatello at 7 pm. It is a small airport, of course, so I'm not worried about getting there two hours early. But Dave is taking his Dad camping and is hoping to be at the campsite before dark so I suggest they drop me off at the airport a little early so they can get on the road. I say my goodbyes at the door of this airport that I have never been in, and off they go. I step inside and although they do have a ticket counter, there is no one behind it and the lights are dimmed. I ask around about where to get my ticket and I am told to ring the bell at the counter (apparently in Mayberry, you have to wake up the sole employee from his afternoon nap to get some service). He takes about 7 seconds to look at my ID and issue my ticket. I ask where I go from there (there are no people around, no flow of traffic to follow) and he points to a sign about 20 feet away that says "all flights enter here". But the door was closed and locked. Apparently there was only one flight going out that evening and it was too early to start security processes. So I sit on a folding chair and read my book . . . for forever. Finally the security guy shows up and runs us through security and out to the propellar plane on the tarmac. It is a 35 minute flight to Salt Lake City.

I have a 2 hour and 15 min layover in SLC. I get myself a bite to eat and since I was tired of my book I had with me, I picked up a Hollywood gossip magazine for the next leg of my flight. It was another short jaunt down to Las Vegas with yet another layover and I thought a few articles about what Jennifer Aniston was doing these days or how Rebecca Romijn's pregnancy is coming along would tide me over for a while.

However, when I sat down on the plane, I was sitting next to a nice older man in a white shirt and tie. After I chatted with him for moment, he asked if I was LDS. He was too and he had just retired from a 39 year career as a Seminary teacher and CES Coordinator. I told him that I, too, was teaching seminary and we chatted about that for a few minutes. Then he got out his Ensign and started reading conference talks and I realized I couldn't get out my magazine featuring Britney's recent weight loss and bikini pictures. So out came the library book again.

After my layover in Las Vegas, I started my last leg of the trip home and it was now the middle of the night. Suprisingly, I wasn't the least bit sleepy - I usually fall asleep in the car, the bus, the plane . . . anywhere. I was wide awake, but at least I still had my hollywood trash magazine to keep me company. I turned on my overhead light and it didn't point toward me and it wasn't adjustable. It pointed straight into the face of the lady sitting next to me who obviously wanted to go to sleep. So I turned the light back off and sat in the dark. I guess I'll never know what is going on in Hollywood this month.

It is roughly a 13 hour drive home from Pocatello. It took me 8 1/2 hours to fly home.

travel food

Things we eat in the car that I would never serve at the dinner table:
Sunflower seeds
Black licorice
Mountain Dew
These three items are the essential ingredients to keep the driver awake when we are driving long distances or driving overnight. That driver would be Dave, not me. I don't consume any of these items because A) sunflower seeds are messy. B) black licorice is gross after about two bites and C) nothing, even Mountain Dew, keeps me awake. The engine of the car lulls me to sleep. I am only good for an hour or two when Dave is at the end of his Mountain Dew buzz.
Squirty Cheese and crackers
Don't judge me. Does it help if I say the crackers were low-sodium, multi-grain crackers?
Chocolate Milk
I never have chocolate milk around the house unless my father-in-law is visiting. Then it is a daily 'must-have'.
Chips
Ok, there are chips in the house, but rarely on the table. Just tortilla chips and salsa for after school snacks.
String Cheese
Good for the car, but individually packaged bites of cheese are a little pricey for home consumption. If you have a hankering for cheese at home, get a knife and cut yourself a slice.
Gogurt
Well, we do have yogurt at home, but not in little plastic tubes. There is something insulting about eating out of a plastic package with pictures of Sponge Bob Square Pants on the label. You can't buy gogurt without cartoon characters on the packaging. Don't adults occasionally want to eat a conveniently packed portion of yogurt on the go?
Ice Cream Bars/Popcicles
This is a favorite purchase for Dave to get the kids at gas station stops along the road. We have some things we buy (snacks/sweets) that come into our house that are consumed or practically inhaled as soon as the grocery bags are placed on the counter. Ice cream isn't one of them. A half gallon of ice cream will sit in the freezer for weeks. However, on road trips it is a very much loved treat when Dave brings a bag of ice cream bars out of the mini mart.
Individually sized bottles of water
I always have bottled water around our house, but I buy gallon sizes. City tap water is hardly consumable here (although the city claims it is safe to drink, I have a hard time taking a swig of it even when I brush my teeth). The problem is the individual bottles. There are an over-abundance of half used water bottles all over our car. They seem to multiply and spread. And 79 cents a bottle? C'mon . . . it's just water for goodness sake. When we get to Idaho, I have to calm down mentally and remind myself that I can drink the tap water. It is actually delightful and refreshingly good.

primary friends

Do adults have to rate their friends? I know that was a rule in 6th grade as in "who is your best friend?" Everyone had a best friend. Once in a while girls would have a group of 3 or 4 that all hung out (what do you call that . . . a swarm of girls? a gaggle of girls?) But usually it was just a singular best friend with some other secondary friends.

So the other day, we are taking a friend out to lunch to celebrate her birthday and we were hopping into my car. (All my other friends have significantly cooler cars, but my not-so-cool mini van holds all of us so we are climbing into mine.) The conversation I heard was this --

"We don't all need to sit in the back seat"

"I thought Suzanne was going to sit in the front seat"

"Now why does Suzanne get the front seat?"

"I don't know, I guess because she is Cindy's primary friend"

"Hey, I think my feelings just got hurt"

"So, Cindy, who is actually your primary friend? . . . and I hope you answer correctly"

All I said was "what direction to the restaurant?" and all of a sudden I am embroiled in a conversation about to who is actually my 'primary' friend.

Ok, shannon, let's lay it all out on the table.

I am obviously not Shannon's primary friend because we all know she has a twin that takes priority over us all. We all count the two of them as one. But we all also know that Shannon would expect everyone to consider her their primary friend. (back me up on this girls, am I right about this?)

On the other hand, I have been friends with Suzanne for almost 25 years. Yet just the other day I overheard another girl tell Suzanne she couldn't attend her party, so Suzanne immediately turned to me and asked if Dave and I would like to attend her party -- obviously a second choice. . . hmmm.

Then again, I have such a multplicity of friends far and wide across this neighborhood, this state and, well, across this great country of ours that I couldn't possibly have time to list them all, or possibly rate them all.

What is the ettiquette of friendship priority?

I need some rules on this, Shannon. I need a response here, or a full post on your blog. Help me out on this one.