Melanie had a couple of wisdom teeth taken out today. Luckily for her and for our budget, she only had two teeth to deal with. It was a quick surgery with 30 minutes of general anesthesia and some local anesthesia. They were ready to send her out the door right when she woke up, so she was still dealing with some drugs in her system on the way home, which for some reason made her quite chatty.
To the nurse: "What is your name?"
"I'm Jen"
"THANK YOU, JEN!"
"Do you think you can walk to the car?"
"With your hand . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . holding mine."
Woozy and on the way out the door, to the nurse "who is that lady?"
"That is Monica"
"Ohhhh, . . . Tell Monica THANK YOU!"
Melanie and I got to the car in the basement of the surgery center. She was still woozy, so I was holding her arm as we walked. I opened her car door and she bent her knees real deep, like starting to squat and then lifted her leg to get in the car (which is not unusually tall, but it's not a short little car). I started laughing so hard I could hardly help her get in the car.
"How deep are we parked?"
"We are just one level down."
"I'm glad you know how to drive out of here."
Melanie: "Trader Joe's has good food."
Me: "You've been there?"
Melanie: "Yes. It has good food. Where's a True Value? (the hardware store) True Value has good food. There's always a Starbucks. I don't drink those. Is there a Paradise Bakery here?" (pointing to a banking complex)
Me: "Are you starving to death?"
Melanie: "No. I'm thirsty to death"
Me: "I'm going to get you a Frosty at Wendy's on the way home"
After I placed an order at the drive through window: "Good Job, Mom"
"Is Hayden going to eat with us?"
"No, Hayden's not in town, although I think he'd enjoy listening to this stream of conversation."
"Here, do you want my ice pack?"
"My mouth feels tacky."
"What does that mean - tacky?"
"My mouth feels dry and gooey."
"THANK YOU, Mom!"
"I think they numbed my thirstability."
"Did they take my shoes off?
"No, they worked on your teeth, not your feet."
"Ok, that's good. But I have cool socks on, so they missed it."
Looks down at herself suddenly - "Did you put my seatbelt on?"
"I think they closed the hole in my throat. I can't swallow. But my mouth feels big. I can take big girl bites."
Melanie: "What did you order?"
Me: "A Sandwich."
Melanie: "Did they already take a bite out of it?"
Me: "No, Mel. I did. But thank you for your concern."
Looking at the bandaid on her arm from the IV. "What is that . . . an ouch?"
"I smell something good. Is it on my hands?" (then she touches my nose while I"m driving)
Melanie: "Do I still have make-up on?" (she wore no makeup this morning)
Me: "Did you wear makeup this morning?"
Melanie: "Yes. Pink "
"You put on eye shadow this morning?"
"No! I don't wear eye shadow on my face! just powder. Just make-up"
"Did you buy Vanilla Pudding for me?"
"Yes."
"Thank you Mom, You love me."
"I want to smile, but I can't. (starts making gross throat sounds) Can I smile?"
"I'm sure you can."
"Want to see me smile?"
(big cheesy smile)
4 comments:
This is partly funny because it sounds something like her normal talk. Are you sure she was on drugs?
I so wish I could have been there
I so wish I could have been there
HAHA! I'm dying. I was thinking, "I wish she'd taken a video" and then I got to the end. Classic.
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