nonsense

(I framed a halloween picture of Grandpa for him to take home)
Grandpa: "I look at that face and it doesn't look like me. I don't know why. I thought I'd be better looking!"

The day Melanie bought her first car: "Now I can take you all out to dinner. Well, you'll have to pay for it . . . but I will take you. That's the point of having a car, right?"

Melanie, during homecoming - full face and body paint: "I sneezed blue and gold - that's real school spirit!"

Melanie: "Grandpa - you take all of those pills at once? Those are huge!"
Grandpa: "Well sure, can't you swallow a big pill?"
Melanie: "Not all three at once, that's like swallowing a submarine!"

Rachel, about a friend from church: "He has so much flirtatious energy, it just lands on anything female."

Grandpa "I just want to go and be with Betty, she's in a better place."
Dave: "Well, Dad, she's definitely in a good place, but what if you don't quite make it?"
Grandpa: "Well, then I'll just have to stay with you!"

Pancakes for dinner, I meant to say - "Melanie, can you cut one in half for me?", but it came out - "can you calf one for me?" She painstakingly carved a silhouette of a calf out of the remaining pancake on the serving plate and handed it to me.