overheard on a cruise

"You drive across the country so much.  You're like a pinball."

"Jordan, that expression surprised me. I've never seen you without that smile on your face."
"I've never had a bug that big in my brassiere before."

"It's OK Dave. There's a white guy in every group."

Madeline: "This isn't like taking a trip with Suzanne. We are more of a PG-13 group."

"I'm not saying there is an issue with priorities, but the library is open an hour a day and the casino is open  24 hours."

To Dave, referring to an inexpensive watch he was wearing, and trying to get him to buy a new one: "Dave you're wearing a friendship bracelet."

Remembering when Roxanne visited the Wagner's years ago and was served Lamb Chops for dinner. 
Roxanne: "What is this?"  
Madeline: "Well, it's like Pork Chops"
Grant: "No it's not, Rox-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n-e" (bleating her name like a sheep)

Eating a cheeseburger after 2 tacos. "Cruise calories don't count."

I opted out of a zip line activity and chose to take pictures of everyone from below. "Did you see all the Iguanas?" "No, what Iguanas?"  "From up on the towers, we could see them everywhere, all over the rocks"   "Wait, what rocks, like right where I was standing????"  "Yes, there were probably 40 or 50 of them!"   (So so glad I didn't somehow see them!)

Talking about chaperoning an upcoming high school group going on a cruise.
Cynthia: "You don't have to worry about your daughter though."
Madeline: "No. But I also reminded her she could be tried as an adult in many countries!"

Ebola scare around the country this month. A group in the cruise ship library was playing a board game called 'Pandemic'.

"If we ever get lost in the Sahara, we'll stay near Madeline.  We may not have water, but she can always find a cold coke."

"You're looking for a taxi? Where do you want to go?"
"To get TACOS!!"

"Where's Madeline? She's missing again. She's like a shopping Ninja."

From a complete stranger:  "Why didn't you tell us he was about to propose, so we could be ready?"

Board game question - "Name 5 astronauts"  "Does Buzz LIghtyear count? He's got a space suit."

Board game question - "Name 2 human bones."  "Femur and Tibia"   "I thought you would say something more humerus!"

Board game question - "Name five 2-word US state capitals."  "Los Angeles."  "No"  "Yes it is! LOS-ANGELES, two words!"   "Nope, one word. Sacramento!"

Jordan to Dave, rushing for an elevator: "Patience is a virtue - Be Virtuous!" 
Complete stranger:  "No virtue here, I don't have it in me."

"I try to work up my heart rate, but usually I just realize it's heartburn."

Story evolving in the coming years: "Remember that International Golf Tournament of 2014 that I narrowly won by one stroke?" (Mini golf on the cruise ship)

In elevator, 5 year old still singing from pool party and pushing all the elevator buttons. Older man, after the little boy gets out: "I'm so glad my kids are grown and gone!"

First day off the ship: "I don't know if I'm going to survive without a nap. And no ice cream bar in the afternoon either."

On the drive home from Galveston after the cruise:
Joe: "You should have looked, you missed the 4 deer on the side of the road"
Madeline: "More importantly, YOU missed the 4 deer on the side of the road!"

At home after the cruise, Madeline and Jordan are recovering from bad sunburns.  "I have a new theme song for the end portion of the cruise - I Can't Stop this Peeling Anymore."

"Joe says I'm molting like a snake"

After we got off the cruise ship at the port in Galveston, we had originally planned to stay there for a couple extra days. Six of us were sharing one vehicle, and 2 people needed to go back to Houston unexpectedly. I wanted to see a film in a local theater regarding the storm that wiped out Galveston 100 years ago (Isaac's Storm - a great book!).  Anyway, I thought it was a big IMAX movie in downtown Galveston and it only played until 5:00.  We decided to all drive to Houston to drop off 2 people, then come back. We ran into awful traffic, farther than we planned, the afternoon was running out, we needed to stop for lunch. We also realized the hotel we had for that evening wasn't even in Galveston, but 20 or so miles down the road. They were all really trying to accommodate me to see the film I wanted to see. We followed the GPS directions and finally ended up back in Galveston in front of the little movie theater. It was literally 50 yards from the cruise ship that we just got off that morning. Seriously, right next to the ship. AND it was a nothing little film - 20 minutes long!  We all felt so stupid. We could have got off the ship, humored me and my little movie I wanted to see, and 20 minutes later been on with our day!