Friday, December 26, 2014

overheard during the holidays

While playing a game:
(trying to guess the word LEGOS)
"Building blocks for boys"
"Hey, girls can like them too!"
"Either way it hurts when you step on them."

(trying to guess JOHN WAYNE)
"That's a terrible name for a cowboy"
"Really? you use a Jackie Chan quote to guess John Wayne?"
"That's all I know!"

While decorating gingerbread houses:
"That looks more like a swastika than a star."

Marshmallow snowman with the gingerbread house.
"What should we name him?"
Melanie:  "Stanley.  Stanley the Snowman. I will call him Stanford for short."

"We need more snow on the bottom, there's a gravitational pull."

"This is all one roof -- you can't sub-divide it!"

"That is the ugliest snowman I've ever seen."
"Hey! He's got potential"

"Look at this one squiggly - the bottom half of it looks good."

"I'd hate to be an Oompa Loompa."

Jonny (building the gingerbread house with 2 girls):
"You are the one who hired me. I'll lay the red brick wherever you want."

"If this were real, it would be hard to keep your workers honest - they'd want to eat everything."

While opening gifts:
A HUGE box of chocolates:  "Oh Mylanta!  Oh Diabetes!  and Dont touch it!"

Brady with a big unopened box on his lap, everyone guessing
"It's a pogo stick"
"It's a razor scooter"
Brady: "Don't you dare get my hopes up!"

Brady, with a big bluetooth speaker system: "Now I can listen to all my math tutorials through this bad boy"

Godiva chocolates: "Let's have a moment of silence . . . I'm going to melt it and bathe in it."

Dave's new soft sided tool box with a handle:
"It's a 'Murse', a man purse."
"I think the standard purse for a man IS a tool box."

Gift of Hot sauces named:
Yule Regret It
12 Days of Fire and Ice
Fa La La Jalapeno,
Elf Elixer

Dave's chocolate orange, 10 minutes after getting it out of his stocking.
Rachel: "Are you going to share your orange?"
Dave: "um. . . no. . . There is no more."

Rachel received a gift card to Hobby Lobby
Kyle: "Yay! we can get a snow globe!"
Rachel snatching it back: "NOOO it's for our lamp!"

Dave receiving a blue plaid flannel shirt much like the one he was wearing:
"But it's a blue-er shirt."
"There is no such thing as blue-er."

"Hmmmm . . . Fireworks!"

"Now THAT'S got to be a big ol box of chocolates!"

Brady, opening a gag gift, a horrendous silk printed shirt:
"I can see you wearing that out to dinner."
Brady "Yeah, me. . . and me alone."

"I don't see any more presents for dad."
Rachel: "Oh! I forgot to wrap one, it's in my car. pause please."

Kyle, receiving a brain teaser puzzle of metal pieces.
"You have to take the metal pieces apart"
"They are already apart in the packaging"
"It's like someone opened it, solved it, and put it back on the store shelf"
"There are no instructions inside"
"That's the brain teaser, you have to figure out what it's for"

(to Melanie, referring to a necklace she is wearing) "Is that Mom's necklace?"
"She either lent it to me or I took it. I don't remember, I've had it a long time."

At the dinner table "Lefties have it hard"

Melanie (on the phone from the MTC): I can't really dance here. I have to sneak in small dance moves like when I'm opening a door or something.

Talking about the Vernon's salsa treat to us each year:
"We should have a specialty that WE take to everyone. We could make a specialty pie or something." "We could call it Hale Merry."

overheard on a road trip

I think someone had a little crush on Brady:
Aleah:  "Somebody looked at me."
Chelsea: "Who?"
Aleah: "That boy."
Chelsea: "Brady?"

Aleah: "I'm threeeee."
"Brady is Twenty Six."
Aleah: "Then I'm Twenty threeeeee!"

We just got back to the house, Aleah didn't want to lay down for a nap. She wanted to go back to the kitchen to get a drink.  "That boy didn't look at me.  He has his ear phones on"  (she didn't want a drink, she wanted to see Brady)

Melanie, shopping for shoes in a Utah mall: "I don't know what size these shoes are. Size 39?? Do they use the metric system in Utah?"
Salesman: "It's European."
Melanie: "I think they just want girls to feel fat."

Apparently someone has built teeter totters in the streets of Utah. Drive with caution.

"This is weird, I've seen 2 different people vomiting on the side of the road in one hour"

Who is selling my car seat covers?

The highlight of our trip was hanging out with this family: